In a year a lot can happen. The kids are growing up so fast that it's hard to remember to slow down sometimes and appreciate the stages they're in.
Since last year T has shot up about 6 inches, G has lost his first tooth and R has gone through growing pains that only moms of tween girls can understand. We've had ups and downs and all arounds...enjoyed moments and begged for bedtime. We've traveled a bit and laughed a lot. Numerous doctor visits, x rays, and sick days home snuggled on the couch.
Motherhood is one of those things that you're never quite sure if you're actually accomplishing anything. But then you look back at just one year. One. Year. And you can see that although the kiddos have had their own struggles through the year and I've had my own too that we still survived. We're still a complete set.
Sometimes I just have to take that moment and breathe it in. There are days where I feel like I'll lose it. Completely lose it. Some weeks...there are more bad days than good. And then there are days like yesterday where school was a breeze with G and the sun was shining and the trees have these vibrant green leaves and the breeze is just right so that you can wear a t shirt and your favorite pair of boyfriend jeans without being too hot or too cold and you aren't worried about much...when you realize that life is good.
Promise I'm not on anything. But reading that totally sounds like I'm flying high.
The days that take me for a turn are the ones where I'm so stinkin' tired from trying to claim those hours after the kids head to bed for my own....where I literally could collapse on the couch and sleep for hours....where I have no freaking clue what I'm cooking for dinner so why don't I just make cookies.....where I'm offended by every look my husband has and I'm crying because the puppy chose my couch as her pee pee place while looking at the perfectly acceptable backyard out of the window....those days are the days we're all used to right?
Hey why not throw a 14 year old boy in the mix who I worry about on a daily basis whether he will make good choices now that is brain is on puberty vacation. Yes. We are there. I understand the worry that moms of teen girls must go through and eventually I will be there myself but right now this whole teenage boy thing is throwing me for a loop. My sweet, funny, smart aleck kid who still tries to jump in my arms and makes me laugh so hard that I choke on whatever we're having for dinner is slowly turning into the teenage boy who wants to hang out with only girls and is constantly on his phone. Not talking on the phone. Why on God's green earth would they talk on the phone when they could just text, Snap Chat or Instagram everything they want to say?
Trust. That's my word of the day every day lately.
We have to trust that with our guidance he will make good choices. And along with the nightly prayer I pray over them....Lord, please surround my children with good people, good friends......I'm clinging to hope that he will turn out just like God intended. Albeit with a few cuts and scrapes along the way.
Not that he's gone off the deep end or anything but this true teenage boy stuff is all new to us. And don't worry I've already given the speech numerous times...once it's out there, it's out there. Don't send anything over your phone you wouldn't want the whole world to see. Ick.
Rambling? Maybe. Does a heart good every once in awhile, don't you think?
If you would like to check out the letters to my kiddos you can find them right here for my daughter....and here for my sons. Enjoy!
Here are my hearts....laid out in human form....a year later....
Whoops! How did that one get in there??? You're welcome.