Growing up way too fast.....

On the Today show this morning I was amazed when I saw once again Abercrombie and Fitch had made the news.  This is not the first time and I doubt it will be the last that this uber popular company will make headlines.  The issue right now is the bathing suit option they have on Abercrombie kids which before they changed the wording was called the Ashley: push up triangle.  Now, it is just being referred to as the Ashley: striped triangle.  They even dropped the price.  Guess it's hard to sell something that most parents are up in arms about.


This is the actual suit from the site

The picture on the website doesn't really show how thick the padding is but the video from the Today show this morning definitely does.  Please take a look at the video for a more in depth look...right here.  So, the question remains......do 8 year old girls need a push up bikini top?  Do they need a push up anything?  Abercrombie Kids has sizes for girls 8-14 and depending on the girl, they could be younger and still fit into the sizes. 
Over sexualization on girls is not a new issue, we as a society have been doing it for ages.  From the shows on Nick and Disney to the ABC Family shows like The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which is about teen pregnancy and of course basically all of the shows on MTV.  I don't care how much of a prude I sound like and people are of course entitled to your own opinion.  I've been that over sexualized teen, I've worn the short skirts and thought I was invincible because how can bad things happen to "real" people.....I will not let my children go that route.  There is no way I can prevent my kids from growing up and making their own decisions but I can let them know where I stand on issues.  One of those choices I make as a parent is not buying my 9 year old a push up bra or bikini top. 
As moms, we sometimes make mistakes around our daughters that really matter.  How many times have you said something negative about yourself and your body in particular around her?  That is something I am very conscious about and I never make comments about my body size and shape unless it is positive around her.  I think it's the same concept when you are purchasing a padded push up bra or bikini for your young daughter.  You're letting her know that what she's got is not good enough....so much so that she needs to life them up higher or make them bigger.  I have seen so many push up and padded bras in department stores, ones so small they should just be training bras and they sit alongside some racy looking panties as well.  Since when is it okay for your 7 or 8 year old to think it's okay to be sexy.  My kids can't even say sexy.  When I was little, you would never have heard someone use that word in an everyday conversation but that's what it has become, an everyday conversation.
In Junior High and High School I had my share of padded or push up bras and bikini tops to make my very small chest seem bigger.  Let's not kid ourselves here, that's what the "push up" is for....to make them seem bigger.  And I can't say that my own daughter will not want this when she is in high school....but I can say that right now, at 9 years old, my daughter who doesn't need anything (not even an undershirt) to cover her up is NOT going to have a push up anything in her drawers. 

We ask our kids to grow up so fast anyway.  If you just take a second to listen to the lyrics of the music that is pumping through your SUV's speakers you would hear the sexuality in every song.  Let's dissect Rhianna's song, Rude Boy.....just read the lyrics and then imagine yourself reading them to your kids
Chorus]



Come here, rude boy, boy; can you get it up?


Come here rude boy, boy; is you big enough?


Take it, take it baby, baby







Tonight I'ma let you be the captain


Tonight I'ma let you do your thing, yeah


Tonight I'ma let you be a rider


Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up babe


Tonight I'ma let it be fire


Tonight I'ma let you take me higher


Tonight, baby, we could get it on, yeah, we could get it on, yeah






Do you like it?


Boy, I want, want, want whatchu want, want, want


Give it to me, baby like boom, boom, boom


What I want, want, want is what you want, want, want


Nah nah-ah






[Chorus]


Come here, rude boy, boy, can you get it up?


Come here, rude boy, boy, is you big enough?


Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it, love me, love me


[x2]






Tonight I'ma give it to ya harder


Tonight I'ma turn ya body out


Relax; let me do it how I wanna


If you got it I need it and I'ma put it down


Buckle up; I'ma give it to ya stronger


Hands up; we could go a little longer






[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/rude-boy-lyrics-rihanna.html ]






Tonight I'ma get a little crazy, get a little crazy, baby






Like it?


Boy, I want, want, want whatchu want, want, want


Give it to me, baby like boom, boom, boom


What I want, want, want is what you want, want, want


Nah nah-ah






[Chorus]


Come here, rude boy, boy can you get it up?


Come here rude boy, boy is your big enough?


Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it, love me, love me


[x2]






I like the way you touch me there


I like the way you pull my hair


Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking, no, no


I like when you tell me 'kiss you there'


I like when you tell me 'move it there'


So giddy-up; time to get it up: you say you a rude boy: show me what you got now


Come here right now






Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it, love me, love me






[Chorus]


Come here, rude boy, boy, can you get it up?


Come here, rude boy, boy, is you big enough?


Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it, love me, love me


[x2]
Take it, take it; love me, love me


[x2]


Now, could you really see yourself reading these words to your kids.  To your daughter who has an innocent heart about boys and then hears songs that talk about sex as if it's not a loving act.  Is this really how we want our kids to learn about love and relationships.  I totally get that these entertainers and clothing companies are not supposed to be role models but they are.  How many times does Katy Perry's song "Teenage Dream" come on in your car when your kids are in there? How about Lady GaGa and her song "Bad Romance"? 

Sometimes, I think we all seem to just let it go.  We see other parents going along with it and for some reason think that it must be okay.  I am completely guilty of riding in the car with the kids and listening to a song that I cringing on the inside about.  I usually do keep a tight reign on the radio controls but I've also taken the easy road before and let them listen until I part I don't approve of and then turn it down really quick.  Sadly, my 4 year old knows the beat of "Like a G6"....what the heck was I thinking allowing them to listen to that song, even once.  Yes, the beat is totally catchy and makes you move but it's all about partying in a club with drunk girls all around.  Do I really want my daughter to think... "Score! I wanna be a drunk girl at a club!"...uh, no.   Do I want my sons wanting to hang out with those girls that are mentioned in songs like that?  Absolutely not. 

So, I make a vow to myself to be the parent I expect myself to be instead of the parent I think my kids (or anyone else for that matter) wants me to be.  I've already been told by both of the older kids that some kids think I'm the "goody goody" mom....and that is fine with me.  Will my 12 year old son ever be allowed to have Lil Wayne on his iPod, don't think so.  Will my daughter ever be allowed to wear a thong in elementary school....nope.  Am I a helicopter mom?  No, I let my children make choices but with our morals and values in mind.  My kids know more classic rock than some adults.  They have open minds and their own point of views.  They talk to my husband and myself about some things that would make other moms squirm.  It works for us and I have complete confidence that because we are the parents we are that our kids are the people they are. 






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